I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
