Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize