You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
