umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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