We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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