i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
