how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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