How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
try to milk me bitch
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