I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I skipped work to stalk him.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
so much tequila, so little girl.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Everclear isn't food dammit
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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