I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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