Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
