how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
