Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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