Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
