apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
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