You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
