currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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