matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
what day is it and did you see me today?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
