Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
