i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize