And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
i out mim tonsoeep
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