I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
