hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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