He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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