At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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