i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
