New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
