we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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