i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
