It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
splinters make it hard to masturbate
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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