she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
