nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
This is the high leading the old right now
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
