Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
