It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Girls should come with a carfax report
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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