There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
