They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
