walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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