You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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