I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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