Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
