you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
