WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
