I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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