I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
