Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
