how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
