I am in a vortex of obligation.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
A bitchslap is in order.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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