Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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