I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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