That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
