Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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