She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
