I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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