On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
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