I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
