remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
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