You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
