if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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