Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize