He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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