We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
